Monday, April 19, 2010

Moving On

“The hardest part is what to leave behind... It's time to let go” ~ Winnie the Pooh

This entry is likely to be a bit more melancholy than most. You see, I just ended a years-long (we're talking decades) relationship with a friend I love very much--- but no longer trust because of some incidents that happened last year. Which sucks.

Another friend of mine once asked me if I believed in soulmates. Yes, I do. There are too many “coincidences” that have happened in my lifetime to make me think anything different. But I don’t believe in the traditional definition--- the one “magical” person who will change every aspect of your life for the better. I believe we all are connected on the soul level--- just some of us moreso than others. I think we all have several soulmates--- they could come in the form of a lover, a best friend, even a relative. And I also believe that some of those relationships are meant to last, while others are meant to teach us important life lessons. In the latter case, once we learn those lessons--- sometimes those soulmates can remain friends. Or sometimes it’s simply time to move on. It's never easy, though. :(

This person was definitely a soulmate. And as a result of our friendship, I learned valuable lessons about love and trust and the importance of communication. I still wish this person the best and hope that they will be able to change some painful things in their everyday life--- but I’m finding I just can’t be a part of it anymore. This person has the ability to inflict serious emotional pain when they are having a bad day--- and even though they come back with a genuine apology after they’ve lashed out---- I’ve decided I don’t want to be on the receiving end ever again.

In case you’re wondering why I’m sharing this--- it’s because I know there are others out there who are in similar relationships. And I know that it’s hard to break away when see someone you love going through a difficult time and you feel you need to “be there” for them. But you’re not helping yourself--- and you’re not helping them--- if you just let them back into your life every time they hurt you. By breaking things off here, I’m not only trying to protect myself--- but I’m also hoping this person will start to realize that they need to make some serious changes in their life. Who knows...? Maybe in a few years we can start talking again.

UPDATE: since I wrote this, this person has dropped an atom bomb on the bridge that linked us... so I guess talking again won't be possible. Makes me sad, but I have to believe that this has happened for a reason. Even if the reason doesn't make sense right now. :(
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